Tuesday, January 24, 2012

New Word and the let down of a Fortune Cookie

Dreams and positive affirmations are well and good but recently a common thread has been popping up in my journal.  Something I feel so convicted about it may be my word of the year and it's a scary one.  The concept of
noun \ˈdi-sə-plən\

While this may conjure up images of your Dad's face and the resulting consequences after you'd rolled your eyes at him, it can also be:

a : control gained by enforcing obedience or order
b : orderly or prescribed conduct or pattern of behavior 
c : self-control

 In past years I've written in my journal about pursuing my dreams, living the life I imagine, being fearless, and making my health a priority so I can accomplish these things.  While these are all very good aspirations, it's come to my attention that the framework for the house of "the life I want" is built on painstaking hard work and nail by nail.  Darn it.  I was hoping for someone to notice my artistic talent on the street and offer me $90,000 plus a year to paint what I want when I want.  Or for God to snap his fingers and magically make me as fit and toned as a cover girl for Self magazine and no longer allergic/intolerant to many of my favorite foods.  One of my Mom's favorite sayings is that, "Insanity is doing the same things, with the same people, and expecting different results."  

I think I'm insane.

Why do I continue with the same time-wasting habits, poor food choices, and saying "yes" to things that I should say no to?  Which brings me to another adult sounding word: boundaries.  Ugh.  

[You know what my fortune cookie said the other night?  "As long as you don't take on anything else, you should be ok."  WHAT!?!?  What kind of crap fortune is that?!?!  I want the cookie to tell me my future or at least a positive piece of advice!  Good grief!" ]

So, at 25, I am forcing myself to stay disciplined, to quit whining, and make things happen for myself.  I've been slowly changing some well ingrained daily habits for a few weeks now and it's been really tough but I'm determined to stick with it.    

"We can learn to be the catalysts for our own change."  
-Sarah ban Breathnach


  1. I'm insane as well. So you're not alone. Lol now I feel like quoting Alice in wonderland, but forgot the exact wording. But its something along the lines, only the best people are mad....or something. >.< thanks for visiting my blog. :)

  2. I think many of us would fall under the "insane" category. We all often do things over and over again hoping for a different result.

    I love that Sara quote at the end.

  3. haha that's the worst fortune cookie ever.

  4. I am right with you sis. I know exactly how you feel.

    discipline. uhg.

  5. P.S.

    I gave you an award on my blog post today!

  6. Just found your blog today, you crack me up! And it just seems like all the fortunes in fortune cookies lately have been total crap. Whoever they hired at that factory should be fired.